Truck Driving Stories - Tales From The Road

Mike

Well-Known Member
Staff member
About this forum:

Over the past few months, we have had some members offer up some very interesting accounts of their daily travels up and down the interstate. Whether it was an interesting day at the truck stop, a scary day out on some wet/icy roads, or just about anything else that may happen to a driver over the course of a 10 hour day, we felt that there should be a special place to post these stories for all to see.

Don't hesitate, start filling this forum up with some of your interesting stories today.
 

Railsplitter

Active Member
All this time, and not one broked!ck truck driver posted a story? Jeez, Louise... some folks' kids, you'd think at least ONE truck driver would have had the decency to cough up a story. Let's see, I was rolling across the Mojave Desert one time, tooling along at 60. m.p.h. or so since I wasn't in a hurry to receive a "driving award"---when an Indian River tanker yanker pulled alongside and slowly pulled ahead. I noticed something unusual as he passed: there were Class 3 Flammable Liquid placards on the tank. In those days, I hauled nothing but hazardous, so I pinged on that sorta thing. After flashing him in, I grabbed my CB mike and hollered:

"HEY, INDIAN RIVER, WHAT'S WITH THE PLACARDS??? I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE FOOD GRADE ONLY???"

His response:

"I'VE GOT 2300 GALLONS OF TEQUILA ABOARD THAT TANK!!!"

Holy crap, 2300 GALLONS OF TEQUILA!!! My very next question, obviously spoken as a joke:

"WHERE YA SHUTTIN' DOWN TONIGHT???"

Dude just laughed... sheeeeeee-it, 2300 GALLONS of TEQUILA, can you imagine what kinda PAR-TAY you could throw with that quantity of ta-kill-ya??? Think of the HANGOVERS... maybe the fatalities, LOL. Possibly some shootings & cutting scrapes... one never knows with tequila, the only hallucinogenic alcohol. Don't forget to eat the worm!!! Or the scorpion if there is one... that's sure to give the booze an extra kick, 10-4? :stirpot2:

ALRIGHT, NOW IT'S TIME FOR ALLA YOUSE HIGHWAY HEE-ROES TO THROW DOWN A TALE FROM THE ROAD... LONG & WINDY, SHORT & SWEET, MAKES NO DIFFERENCE, JUST THROW DOWN A STORY, YEAH? :spam:

Somehow, that Spam emoji reminds me of some writing on the wall of a sh!tter stall:

"FLUSH TWICE, IT'S A LONG WAY TO THE CAFETERIA!!!" :stare1:

And on a toilet paper dispenser in a Steel City truck stop, the paper that ridiculously thin one-ply kind:

"JOHN WAYNE TOILET PAPER... WON'T TAKE $HIT OFF ANYBODY!!!" :biglaugh:

Okay, carry on... my psychic ability leads me to believe there's an ice-cold beer in my immediate future!!! :yahoo:

HASTA LUEGO, HIGHWAY HEE-ROES!!! :shift:
 
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Rigjockey

In Gord we trust!
Supporter
All this time, and not one broked!ck truck driver posted a story? Jeez, Louise... some folks' kids, you'd think at least ONE truck driver would have had the decency to cough up a story. Let's see, I was rolling across the Mojave Desert one time, tooling along at 60. m.p.h. or so since I wasn't in a hurry to receive a "driving award"---when an Indian River tanker yanker pulled alongside and slowly pulled ahead. I noticed something unusual as he passed: there were Class 3 Flammable Liquid placards on the tank. In those days, I hauled nothing but hazardous, so I pinged on that sorta thing. After flashing him in, I grabbed my CB mike and hollered:

"HEY, INDIAN RIVER, WHAT'S WITH THE PLACARDS??? I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE FOOD GRADE ONLY???"

His response:

"I'VE GOT 2300 GALLONS OF TEQUILA ABOARD THAT TANK!!!"

Holy crap, 2300 GALLONS OF TEQUILA!!! My very next question, obviously spoken as a joke:

"WHERE YA SHUTTIN' DOWN TONIGHT???"

Dude just laughed... sheeeeeee-it, 2300 GALLONS of TEQUILA, can you imagine what kinda PAR-TAY you could throw with that quantity of ta-kill-ya??? Think of the HANGOVERS... maybe the fatalities, LOL. Possibly some shootings & cutting scrapes... one never knows with tequila, the only hallucinogenic alcohol. Don't forget to eat the worm!!! Or the scorpion if there is one... that's sure to give the booze an extra kick, 10-4? :stirpot2:
:congrats: You have won the internet today!:bowdown: 👍
 

r3gulator3

FLATBED GANGSTER
Supporter
Mike Mike

I attempted this.

 

Railsplitter

Active Member
Here's a funny story for y'all... I used to haul lead solder waste from San Diego clear to western PA, regular runs to Altoona & Ellwood City, deadheading back to Dago for a break before repeating the run. My normal route included running I-44 out of OKC till I picked up I-70 on the other side of St. Louis... which meant that unless I ran around the Joplin scale, I'd run up on it and I'd have to go through the time-consuming rigmarole of having the D.O.T. officers inspect all of my paperwork, perhaps the rig as well. I'm talking truck paperwork, doctored comic book, huge pile of Uniform Hazardous Waste Manifests, the whole nine yards, so a hand could spend half an hour in the chickenhouse on a good day, which is usually why I just ran around the scale. Missouri is big on checking placarded wagons, they like to know what a driver is hauling through their state, 10-4?

Well, one fine spring day, when I was making good time and I wasn't in any particular hurry, I decided to roll up on the scale and deal with the bull$h!t... I was wearing baggy shorts, combat boots & sunglasses as I eased onto the scale with my rig near gross (lead solder waste is heavy). That scale had an intercom with camera attached, so I smiled at the camera as a D.O.T. hand said, "Pull around the back and bring in all your paperwork!!!" My reply: "Let me put on a shirt!!!" I pulled around to park, then stepped into my sleeper to grab a shirt. On my very last trip, I had purchased a hemp shirt from "The Hemporium" in Springfield, MO, a stylin' button-down Hawaiian-style shirt, black with green silver-edged marijuana leaves all over it... thing was immaculate, it only cost me $60 but it would've been suitable for any party, anywhere. Just the ticket for chickenhouse attire, aye?

So I don the dope shirt, grab all my paperwork and walk into the coop... as I open the door, the very first thing I see is some D.O.T. hand in one corner grilling a Mexican who couldn't speak a word of English. Evidently, the Mexican was trying to convince the D.O.T. officer that he had made it down from Chi-Town in x number of hours. The D.O.T. reply, accompanied by a loud denial buzzer noise: "EHHHHHHHHHNNNTTTTT, WRONG ANSWER!!!" I turned to look the other way, and there was the D.O.T. officer in charge, sitting at a desk and looking down at some paperwork. Since the other D.O.T. hand was busy grilling the Mexican, I stepped over in front of the desk and stood there, looking for all the world like a goddam Italian waiter with my sizable stack of paperwork held exactly as I would hold a heavily-laden tray of food, my arm crooked and the load positioned near my right shoulder...

Well, Mr. D.O.T. Man figured he'd show me my place by ignoring me for awhile, so I calmly stood there and tried to gauge his mood. Remember, I'm having a wonderful day and I'm in excellent spirits, but this guy is "busy" with a stack of paperwork already on his desk. In due time he glances up at me, letting me know he's aware of my existence, but also letting me know through his "body English" that it may be awhile before he has a chance to inspect my paperwork... D.O.T. work is VERY IMPORTANT, you understand. He lowers his eyes back down to his desk, but somewhere during this process he realizes that the clean-cut ex-Infantry hand standing in front of his desk is WEARING A GODDAM DOPE SHIRT IN THE CHICKENHOUSE!!! His head snaps back up, he does the classic double-take, and he says---I sh!t you not here, he practically roars:

"GET THE F#% OUT OF HERE!!!"

My response, given politely with a smile as I lean in toward the desk and hold out the stack in my hand, presenting it just as an Italian waiter would at a restaurant table:

"WHAT, YOU DON'T WANNA CHECK MY PAPERWORK???"

Again, he roars:

"GET THE F#% OUT OF HERE!!!"

I oblige by bowing out, turning to the door and making tracks to my truck... didn't wanna push my luck, don'tcha know? But that was the funniest look on the guy's face, I almost burst out laughing when he did the classic double-take at the shirt. I reckon his superior officer must have been en route to the chickenhouse, and this guy didn't want some @$$hole truck driver standing around in a goddam marijuana shirt when the big cheese arrived, LOL. Releasing my parking brakes and rolling round onto the scale again, I waited for the green light and hit the f#%ng highway, laughing the whole time at what had just happened. I must say, that was the FASTEST visit I ever paid to that particular chicken coop... dude never even looked at my paperwork or my truck, LOL. I briefly considered wearing the shirt into EVERY chickenhouse in the future, but wisely decided against it... no need to press my luck.

ANYWAY, THAT'S THE SAGA OF THE HAWAIIAN DOPE SHIRT & THE JOPLIN CHICKENHOUSE... THAT GOOD HEMPEN SHIRT SERVED ME WELL OVER THE YEARS, BUT NEVER BETTER THAN ON THAT SPRING DAY IN JOPLIN, MISSOURI, LOL. :shift:
 
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ironpony

Professional Pot-Stirrer
Supporter
On my very last trip, I had purchased a hemp shirt from "The Hemporium" in Springfield, MO, a stylin' button-down Hawaiian-style shirt, black with green silver-edged marijuana leaves all over it... thing was immaculate, it only cost me $60 but it would've been suitable for any party, anywhere. Just the ticket for chickenhouse attire, aye?
I had a tee purchased in Estes Park CO that had a big marijuana leaf on the front surrounded by the motto, "A DAY WITHOUT POT IS LIKE A DAY WITHOUT SUNSHINE," written in the best Greatful Dead script. Walked into the Ft Collins coop with that on, and quite a similar experience.

Coincidence???

:rolllaugh3:
 

Gdjjr

Well-Known Member
Here's a funny story for y'all... I used to haul lead solder waste from San Diego clear to western PA, regular runs to Altoona & Ellwood City, deadheading back to Dago for a break before repeating the run. My normal route included running I-44 out of OKC till I picked up I-70 on the other side of St. Louis... which meant that unless I ran around the Joplin scale, I'd run up on it and I'd have to go through the time-consuming rigmarole of having the D.O.T. officers inspect all of my paperwork, perhaps the rig as well. I'm talking truck paperwork, doctored comic book, huge pile of Uniform Hazardous Waste Manifests, the whole nine yards, so a hand could spend half an hour in the chickenhouse on a good day, which is usually why I just ran around the scale. Missouri is big on checking placarded wagons, they like to know what a driver is hauling through their state, 10-4?

Well, one fine spring day, when I was making good time and I wasn't in any particular hurry, I decided to roll up on the scale and deal with the bull$h!t... I was wearing baggy shorts, combat boots & sunglasses as I eased onto the scale with my rig near gross (lead solder waste is heavy). That scale had an intercom with camera attached, so I smiled at the camera as a D.O.T. hand said, "Pull around the back and bring in all your paperwork!!!" My reply: "Let me put on a shirt!!!" I pulled around to park, then stepped into my sleeper to grab a shirt. On my very last trip, I had purchased a hemp shirt from "The Hemporium" in Springfield, MO, a stylin' button-down Hawaiian-style shirt, black with green silver-edged marijuana leaves all over it... thing was immaculate, it only cost me $60 but it would've been suitable for any party, anywhere. Just the ticket for chickenhouse attire, aye?

So I don the dope shirt, grab all my paperwork and walk into the coop... as I open the door, the very first thing I see is some D.O.T. hand in one corner grilling a Mexican who couldn't speak a word of English. Evidently, the Mexican was trying to convince the D.O.T. officer that he had made it down from Chi-Town in x number of hours. The D.O.T. reply, accompanied by a loud denial buzzer noise: "EHHHHHHHHHNNNTTTTT, WRONG ANSWER!!!" I turned to look the other way, and there was the D.O.T. officer in charge, sitting at a desk and looking down at some paperwork. Since the other D.O.T. hand was busy grilling the Mexican, I stepped over in front of the desk and stood there, looking for all the world like a goddam Italian waiter with my sizable stack of paperwork held exactly as I would hold a heavily-laden tray of food, my arm crooked and the load positioned near my right shoulder...

Well, Mr. D.O.T. Man figured he'd show me my place by ignoring me for awhile, so I calmly stood there and tried to gauge his mood. Remember, I'm having a wonderful day and I'm in excellent spirits, but this guy is "busy" with a stack of paperwork already on his desk. In due time he glances up at me, letting me know he's aware of my existence, but also letting me know through his "body English" that it may be awhile before he has a chance to inspect my paperwork... D.O.T. work is VERY IMPORTANT, you understand. He lowers his eyes back down to his desk, but somewhere during this process he realizes that the clean-cut ex-Infantry hand standing in front of his desk is WEARING A GODDAM DOPE SHIRT IN THE CHICKENHOUSE!!! His head snaps back up, he does the classic double-take, and he says---I sh!t you not here, he practically roars:

"GET THE F#% OUT OF HERE!!!"

My response, given politely with a smile as I lean in toward the desk and hold out the stack in my hand, presenting it just as an Italian waiter would at a restaurant table:

"WHAT, YOU DON'T WANNA CHECK MY PAPERWORK???"

Again, he roars:

"GET THE F#% OUT OF HERE!!!"

I oblige by bowing out, turning to the door and making tracks to my truck... didn't wanna push my luck, don'tcha know? But that was the funniest look on the guy's face, I almost burst out laughing when he did the classic double-take at the shirt. I reckon his superior officer must have been en route to the chickenhouse, and this guy didn't want some @$$hole truck driver standing around in a goddam marijuana shirt when the big cheese arrived, LOL. Releasing my parking brakes and rolling round onto the scale again, I waited for the green light and hit the f#%ng highway, laughing the whole time at what had just happened. I must say, that was the FASTEST visit I ever paid to that particular chicken coop... dude never even looked at my paperwork or my truck, LOL. I briefly considered wearing the shirt into EVERY chickenhouse in the future, but wisely decided against it... no need to press my luck.

ANYWAY, THAT'S THE SAGA OF THE HAWAIIAN DOPE SHIRT & THE JOPLIN CHICKENHOUSE... THAT GOOD HEMPEN SHIRT SERVED ME WELL OVER THE YEARS, BUT NEVER BETTER THAN ON THAT SPRING DAY IN JOPLIN, MISSOURI, LOL. :shift:
I was hauling Hazmat (waste body shop supplies) from LA to Denton, Tx (Safety Kleen disposal facility)- a DPS in Az stopped me to check my paper work and do a walk around "inspection"- he said it'd be a few minutes as he wanted to wait for a rookie to arrive and he wanted to show him the ropes- I allowed as how that was ok with me- I wasn't in a big hurry anyway- he was real polite. Then he got up on the step on the passenger side. I had the 5" stack of paper work in the seat. He asked could he look at it. I said sure. He picked it up looked at 2 or 3 on top, looked at his watch and said, we really don't have time for this- LOL- have a nice day sir, and be safe.
 

Gdjjr

Well-Known Member
Late one evening I was headed toward Lubbock from I20 I saw a DPS car on the side of the Hiway, so I hit my blinker and moved over, hit my blinker and moved back into my lane after I passed him- he hit his circus lights- WTF- I stopped went through the let me see your license, med card etc and he asked me to step to the rear of the truck- very professional like. We got to the rear of the truck and he said: I stopped you because your blinker worked too slow- LOL- then he pointed out I had a wire from the Plate light hanging- he said I need to get that repaired- he had an older partner with him and I could see the incredulity in his face- so, I was stopped by a rookie because my blinker was too slow- SMH-
 

Gdjjr

Well-Known Member
Goin thru a small town in Ark early one morning- 0500 or so, as I neared the city limit sign I started accelerating- in my rear view the circus lights lit up- the officer enFORCEment officer came to my window and asked what my hurry was- I wasn't in a hurry, so I just shrugged my shoulders- he said, I didn't hear you- I shrugged again with my hands up where he could see them- he said, louder this time, I didn't hear you!
I said, what do you want me to say? I'm not in a hurry. He said did you see that Speed Limit sign? I replied, yeah and that's when I started accelerating- he wasn't happy- he handed me back my license and said; I don't know about Texas but we frown on speeding in Ark, turned around and went back to his car- LOL- some are just hunting for job justification.
 

Rigjockey

In Gord we trust!
Supporter
So I am at the Detroit border point of entry,
Just my luck I pull up to the window and we got some rookie in training.
A few questions go by and this, What do you usually haul driver?
Auto parts, Sir.
What are you hauling today driver?
Cylinder heads Sir.
So, usually you haul auto parts and today you are hauling cylinder heads? (suspicious)
Yes Sir.
:coocoo: :bonk:
Pull forward driver I am going to take a look.
I am looking at the senior officer like is this guy for real? She would not even make eye contact and yet she let him break the seal and conduct his search of neatly laid out Caterpillar Cylinder heads. Headed for Indiana.
 

ironpony

Professional Pot-Stirrer
Supporter
So I am at the Detroit border point of entry,
Just my luck I pull up to the window and we got some rookie in training.
A few questions go by and this, What do you usually haul driver?
Auto parts, Sir.
What are you hauling today driver?
Cylinder heads Sir.
So, usually you haul auto parts and today you are hauling cylinder heads? (suspicious)
Yes Sir.
:coocoo: :bonk:
Pull forward driver I am going to take a look.
I am looking at the senior officer like is this guy for real? She would not even make eye contact and yet she let him break the seal and conduct his search of neatly laid out Caterpillar Cylinder heads. Headed for Indiana.
They don't exactly hire the "best 'n brightest" for this line 'o work, do they?

:rolllaugh3:
 

SueAnn

Well-Known Member
Supporter
With a load going to the US, I needed to pull over for a minute and decided to stop on a ramp.
I stop at the sign and the two ramps didn't line up. About 1/8 of a mile difference to the right on a small country road.
So Super Trucker here decides she can make the turn. :bonk:
First turn the corner, no problem.
Next, make the sharp left, around a cement median with signs all over it, including one on the end.
Once around the corner, I size up the situation and decide this is probably gonna take a minute, there's not enough room to turn the truck. :headscratch2:
After going back and forth a couple times I get the truck turned around and head to the shoulder of the ramp.
As I'm straightening out the truck, I see flashing lights behind me. I know I'm in trouble because these guys don't have a sense of humour. :rolleyes:
This really ******-off cop comes up to the side of the truck and before he could say anything I said "I know, right?" Totally throwing him off.
He asked what I was doing, did I think I could turn like that? I said to him, "yes sir, I am on the other side." :nails:
He was even more mad. After a stern lecture, he says "I thought you were supposed to be a professional driver!" :tapeshut:
I said "Sir, most days I am, but today you've clearly proven I am not!" :stirpot2:
He threw his hands up in the air and stomped back to his cruiser and left. I figured it was okay for me to leave too. :wave:

I seriously don't know why he didn't throw his little book at me considering how mad he was. LOL :rolllaugh:
 

PapaDough

Well-Known Member
Fifteen years ago, crossing into U.S. at Detroit, I waited while the CBP officer in the booth napped for maybe ten or fifteen minutes. No kidding. Eyes closed, sleeping, while I just wait there with my FAST card in hand. Officer wakes up, looks at me, then just waves me on.
 
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