I've "Failed" as a Father

Uncle Birchy

Life Coach
Always tried ...

Wasn't always there..

Damn it I "tried"

Maybe not my "BEST" though DAMN IT ....
 

Uncle Birchy

Life Coach
Old school your "Grandpa" threw me over the porch..

Had a "Concussion"

I gave ya the "BELT" once and you went back to School told on us. ..

Had "Social Services" hounding me and YOUR "Momma"..

We hadda go to COURT
 

GAnthony

Methuselah
Supporter
Always tried ...

Wasn't always there..

Damn it I "tried"

Maybe not my "BEST" though DAMN IT ....
parents can only do so much, whether it be a 2 parent house, 6 parent house, or single parent house...

all any parent can do is thier best, when they can. people have thier own mindset, friends, and co-horts.

it was up to the individual to take a path that he/she did, as we all take any path (or paths) in our life time.

it is easy to beat yourself up about this, but the facts, and truth are that the "kid" was his own person, not a dog on a leash, that you could hold back.

it's going to be tough on you, you will feel guilty for a while, maybe forever, but he was his own person, capable of living his life. question to ask yourself would be, "what if you had died sometime during his earlier years of life, don't you still think it would be a 50/50 chance either way for him"?

you say "you weren't always there".

but what about the times you were there...?? and your ex..???

none of us can "be there", 24/7/365.

take some time to reflect on the good things, like him being born and the times you had with him, no matter how big or small those times were.

the negative thinking will never let you up, and heal you.
 

Trucker186

Well-Known Member
parents can only do so much, whether it be a 2 parent house, 6 parent house, or single parent house...

all any parent can do is thier best, when they can. people have thier own mindset, friends, and co-horts.

it was up to the individual to take a path that he/she did, as we all take any path (or paths) in our life time.

it is easy to beat yourself up about this, but the facts, and truth are that the "kid" was his own person, not a dog on a leash, that you could hold back.

it's going to be tough on you, you will feel guilty for a while, maybe forever, but he was his own person, capable of living his life. question to ask yourself would be, "what if you had died sometime during his earlier years of life, don't you still think it would be a 50/50 chance either way for him"?

you say "you weren't always there".

but what about the times you were there...?? and your ex..???

none of us can "be there", 24/7/365.

take some time to reflect on the good things, like him being born and the times you had with him, no matter how big or small those times were.

the negative thinking will never let you up, and heal you.
You put into words what I wanted to say. Your good with words old man. Very good.
 

SueAnn

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Birchy, don't blame yourself. You did the best you could. We all have regrets, shoulda done this or that. We do the best we can at the moment.
No one should have to bury their kids but sadly addiction got a hold of your son. There's very little anyone can do to help a person addicted to any substance until they hit bottom and ask for help.
Please don't let this destroy you too. There are people around you looking to you for strength.
Hold your head high and know that you did the best you could for your son that unfortunately addiction got a hold of.
Big hugs for you sweetie. All our hearts are breaking for you and wish there was something more we could do to ease your pain.
 

Trucker186

Well-Known Member
Birch I know nothing I can say would take away the pain. But as previously stated before me. Please do not let this destroy you. We all love you and we are brothers in diesel. We are here. I feel horrible for you. I can't begin to Imagine the pain your in. There's nothing YOU could have done. Addiction is like that. It drags you to the bottom and you have to ask for help. He was one of the unlucky ones. I don't know your faith but I've said a prayer or 2 for ya. Best I can do.
 

(((ME)))

Well-Known Member
You know as a parent from birth to death ......you love your children with all your heart and breath. You always hope they apply something to there, lifestyles you taught them to there adulthood.....all too often events unfold that parents have no control over and all to often leaves the parent with broken heart and questions with no answers.....then there always comes a time to realize as a parent you done the best you knew how given the circumstances of that period and place and time. Not even in death can a child and a parent be separated from love of each other.
 

tommyh

Well-Known Member
Uncle Birchy,I second what GA said

that's one reason I keep going back to those meetings...hoping to make a difference in some young guys life for the better
you know,you can make a great difference in some young guys life if you apply yourself
sometimes we can`t help our own,but we can help others
 

Rigjockey

In Gord we trust!
Supporter
You didn't fail as a Father. He may have taken a dose that even he did not know was too much.
The dope dealers add all kinds of **** like fentanyl, He may not have known what he had.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and him. This is tragic, but this is not your fault.
 

GAnthony

Methuselah
Supporter
Always tried ...

Wasn't always there..

Damn it I "tried"

Maybe not my "BEST" though DAMN IT ....
i was watching an old episode of, "In the heat of the night", starring Carroll O'Conner, better known to all of us as "Archie Bunker"....remember him..??? what a funny mofo...

well he had a son, who was also an actor, and co-star of the tv show (heat of the night) as one of his deputies..

his name was...Hugh O'Conner, and he died of a suicide due to drug addiction.

so what i am saying here is that no matter what walk of life someone comes from, no matter the closeness or apartness of a family, when one takes the path of self destruction, it is not the fault of parent.

an addicted person of either alcohol or drugs, needs to make that first step and ask for help.

it's gonna be a tough and rough ride for you @Uncle Birchy , but you will get there. the real questions would be, how will you get there? by going on a bender yourself? hurting yourself?

we all wish you well in this time, and sorrow you are going thru, if you need to "let off some steam", then come here and do so, we are not only a bunch of coconuts, but we are also human as well, and can listen to you....
 
Top