I need help! Im a new trucker's wife.

swarner51

Member
I understand your thoughts, but keep this in the back of your mind. While you are feeling alone and lonely your spouse is as well, only he is in a truck in the middle of nowhere trying to make a better life for his family (YOU). When my spouse first went over the road it was hard I would cry when he left and I missed him and I did not sign up for that either. But I tell you what I learned a lot, not only about what a man really is but how to fix things myself I became much more aware of my surroundings, how to fix something if it broke it gave me a pretty great outlook on my life. A hard working man is hard to come by these days, and if your spouse is doing this to ensure that you are provided with what you need and want in life I might rethink your concerns. My husband would be gone for a couple weeks at a time and I learned that through communication I could do a lot of the things he needed to do for him before he came home so that when he got there we could spend time together. Remember though he is more than likely missing not only you but his friends to and when he is out on the road he see how much fun everyone is having without him, but he is choosing to do this for his family.....so there may be times that he will want to do things with his friends when he comes home also but be supportive you can do those things daily he is providing the comfort of home for you and I think this is a very selfless thing to do.

Our routine was he would get home either really late on Friday night or early Saturday morning. He usually had a couple things he wanted to do with the truck so I would clean the inside of the truck and restock the frig for the upcoming week with some homemade food so if he didn't want to eat out he had some good meals in the truck. (All of this I would have ready before he got home). By the time I got that done he was usually done. We would decide from there what to do in the afternoon so by the evening if we wanted to go out with friends or stay in and watch a movie we could. He would normally leave back out on Sunday afternoon.

Now I know that is not a lot of time together and it does not seem like the money is worth it, but in his mind he is trying to do something that will provide for his family comfortably. Do you think that he really wants to leave because chances are he would rather be with his family as well but sitting at home making minimum wage isn't going to give you the life you want or expect from him.

I would recommend taking a long hard look at people around you and hopefully you will see that everything is not always peaches and roses and support your spouse, don't fight with him on the phone when he driving, let him know he is loved and doing those little things when he comes home will make a difference. Being an over the road driver is not a lifestyle for everyone and it takes time to adjust to.

Hoping this might help you going forward!
 

braylean

Well-Known Member
There are allot of smaller companies that are more driver oriented once his schooling is paid off that have pretty decent trucks with allot more room than those big fleets have. National beef, Freymiller or transland just to name a few. All have apu's to heat and cool the truck when your parked, all have large sleepers on the trucks and all allow or have inverters so you can run household appliances like laptops and microwaves in the truck. These are OTR companies but with miles to make you good money and trucks to keep you as comfortable as possible.

I angle more to getting you in the truck with him for now because honestly for one thing, that will make or break your marriage on more level ground. There won't be any of those "you went here"excuses for either of you. Put into a situation where you are together constantly can either teach you both patience and humility and how to get along with each other for the rest of your lives, making your marriage a rock that can't be broken, or it will show both of you that you can't be together. My wife and I took a job running a poultry farm together and during that time we saw marriages go both ways for couples on other farms because although not as restricting as a truck, you are still together pretty much 24/7 on that farm. A couple of years ago I lost a job when the oil fields went bust and we lost the house we were renting, I took a local job hauling grain close to family and my wife stayed with them while I tried for a year to get back on my feet. At the end of that year we saw that driving local hauling grain was getting us nowhere so we got together and decided together that I would go back to Freymiller since I had worked for them and knew they were a good company and she would go out with me permanently for a while. Now I'm bringing in well over a thousand a week most weeks and since she is with me we have almost no bills at home so we can save that money. Now I was'nt going to mention this but I'm in a lease purchase and buying my truck, but the money is nearly as good for company drivers. Our goal is to have a credit background built with the bank and money for a down payment on a home shortly after this truck is paid off in a little over 2 years from now, and so far that's working out well.
I wrote this long post to hopefully give you some things to consider or rather for both of you to consider and to show you to set a goal and buckle down and work at it together and to show you it can work. You both just need to be flexible and work with each other. Take time to look at your options and be open minded about those options. Maybe you can't ride in a truck, some people can't. But just give it some thought. Don't throw away a good marriage just because of this, you both have options. Yes the wheels turn slow for a driver and his family when out comes to making big changes, but the wheels do turn. You just have to keep working together until you get into a situation where you can both be happy.
I hope this helps.
Oh and incidentally, it took my wife and I about ten years to get past the point where one of us wasn't hating the other constantly. You are learning to live with each other, their bad habits and their good habits and believe me, that takes time. Some work it out faster than others (hopefully everyone works through it faster than we did, but I wasn't easy to live with back then and probably still, lol), but it takes time regardless. My best wishes to you both.
 

S27907062

New Member
I completely understand how you feel. My fiance is going to school for trucking. The best advice that i can give to you is to take this time to focus on yourself so that you can be happy when he is away. Maybe go to school or pick up a hobby. You could even try couples counseling and he could do it with you over the phone ,or go when hes home. Im going back to school as an attempt to make myself happy by becoming a special education teacher in an effort to help others. I have hope that things will get better for you. God bless.
 

Ontario Outlaw

Hozer Witta Hood
Supporter
I completely understand how you feel. My fiance is going to school for trucking. The best advice that i can give to you is to take this time to focus on yourself so that you can be happy when he is away. Maybe go to school or pick up a hobby. You could even try couples counseling and he could do it with you over the phone ,or go when hes home. Im going back to school as an attempt to make myself happy by becoming a special education teacher in an effort to help others. I have hope that things will get better for you. God bless.
Good advise!
 

SueAnn

Well-Known Member
Supporter
Find a support group forum for military wives who have to deal with 6 month deployments and skim through some of the stuff they probably post.
Great advice! That's the best advice I've seen you give yet. :bowdown:
 
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