Dear Tide

Cerberus

In God We Trust
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it all
>> through my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now
>> that I am in my fifties, I find it even better! In fact, about a month
>> ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate
>> and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was, and
>> generally started becoming a pain in the neck.
>>
>> One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with a lot of his blood
>> on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain
>> detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the
>> supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach
>> alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came
>> out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by
>> yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then
>> my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a
>> suspect in the disappearance of my husband. What a relief! Going through
>> menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you,
>> once again, for having such a great product.
>>
>> Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...
 

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