So my Daughter asked to talk

Discussion in 'Truckers and Parenting' started by Tazz, Mar 9, 2016.

  1. Tazz

    Tazz Infidel Supporter

    As I was working on my project yesterday my daughter brought over her new hippy hipster douchebag mellow mushroom faggo... sorry I have issues...........her new guy. She wanted to talk with her Mother and I so I am thinking great they are moving in together. Little fruity assed puck nut lives with his Grandmother because , and I quote, "His parents never could get along so he lives there". This John Lennon wanna be is 23 years old WTF does his Mommy issues have to do with not being man enough to have his own home? But I digress.

    So my Wife and I sit down for this talk.

    My daughter looks at me and say's "Daddy I am pregnant."

    Did you know anger has a color? It is a spectacular shade of crimson. Beautiful color really, it can solve so many problems in the world. In fairness it causes a few as well. I work very hard to keep this color out of my vision because I like it a little to much. Kind of like an alcoholic needs to keep alcohol away I really try to not let the color blur my vision.

    Wait my Daughter is still talking I had better pay attention.

    "So I have stopped taking the pill and the Doctor says it looks like there are no complications so far. We are deciding what we are going to do about living arrangements, and the like....."

    I wonder if he knows sitting there with the stupid little look on his skinny little metro faggoty boy jeans face what his spleen looks like. I could show him. I never really liked that couch anyways so I could just burn it when I was done. I mean really would the world miss this little....uh oh Wife is squeezing my hand what did I miss?

    "But we wanted to tell you we are keeping it, but not getting married or anything. Anus (I think that is his ****ing name. Starts with an A anyhow) said we should let you know. I was going to wait awhile to make sure we were clear from any problems"


    Problems?? Dammit Brat you were smarter than this, and you damn sure can do better than this slug! WTF was wrong with Joel?? He is a good kid/man. Never walked into my home and told me he had knocked up my daughter at least. Well in fairness this kid is not telling me Brat is.

    WHY THE **** IS BRAT DOING ALL THE TALKING?? Ah there it is, a cross between blood and lava. By the gods can you see it?? The world needs more of this, all I need to do is start smashing this little dumb asses face until the color matches the world I see now. I can break him. Hell there area million of him walking around. Not really a loss in the grand scheme of things. Why does my hand hurt?

    Oh my Wife is diggin her nails in the back of my hand. What the hell is her problem? I am trying to figure out how best to remove this damn problem sitting on my couch, I have some quick lime, I can borrow the neighbors dozer and OOOOWWW **** alright I'll listen some more.

    Oh great Anus is talking.

    "I mean Sir that we will handle this together...." Handle this???**** not you live with your Grandmother. You couldn't handle a ****ing goldfish let alone a baby. I wouldn't trust you to have enough sense to wipe your own ass.


    OOOOWWWWW ALRIGHT I will listen.

    Well at least Anus has shut his flapper.

    "I am going to keep working for now, and we will handle my share of the insurance Daddy. But I want to take you up on the offer to repaint the back bedroom and stay there for now"










    I am standing. Why am I standing? Anus looks a little pale.

    Did I break him? I don't think so the color is still in my eyes and not oozing out of his head. Pretty sure he is still functioning.

    Oh yes Brat just told me they are moving into my home. Would make it easier for him to have an accident. I mean home accidents are like the leading cause of death right. Slip and fall on a hunting knife, accidental discharge while cleaning a rifle, walked in front of a target during bow practice......

    Yes dear you have sharp nails, no they do not feel good in the back of my arm. But I am busy figuring out how to break this little punk and not be locked up so I can help Brat when she needs it. Crys is talking. When did she start talking?

    "How are you guys gonna work it living apart?"

    Apart? We are breaking up? Good I can deal with Anus later, Andrew whatever. Yes dear I know your making a point, breaking the skin is really not necessary. Oh you want me to sit down. There now will you let the **** go of my arm? NO? So be it I can plot and bleed at the same time.

    Piehole is flapping his gums again.

    "I will meet her for appointments and pay her my share of the co-pays or whatever"

    Whatever?? Whatever??????

    No you little......


    It really is an unmatched color. You can see it sometimes out west against the cliffs just as the sun sets in late summer. Right before the green flash there is this unbelievable shade that embodies all that is just and right in the world. Just the right hue of purple bathed in red. It should be unleashed on the world so that everyone could see the beauty of it. Life is simpler when you bathe yourself in it. Just allow yourself to move through people, and objects, let it be the genesis of a rebirth.

    Brat is crying? Why is she crying? If you made my little girl cry numnuts I am going to flow all over you.

    "Daddy are you OK?"









    Am I ok?

    "Yeah I am fine"

    I just want to beat your ass and gut the dead fish beside you

    "We will do whatever we need to help"

    Because that worthless **** beside you is....well worthless

    "I love you Brat, and we will get through it with you"

    And hopefully that ****bag sitting there steps of a curb in front of a bus.

    Is that little ****er offering to shake my hand??? Son I am going to rip your arm off and beat you with it. Why the hell is Crys pushing the corners of her mouth up with her fingers? Your damn face broke? Have a stroke or something??Oh you want me to smile at this ****nut.

    There I am smiling. Why is Anus looking paler, oh I guess his hand is hurting. Well get ready for pain big boy.

    I suppose breaking the father of my grandchild would be a bad idea. Kid has a right to have a Dad. Even a sorry hipster douche bag hippie looking faggoty little......

    I love that color.
     
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  2. patriciajnsn

    patriciajnsn Steering Wheel Holder

    Tazz you got more then just issues.If you want your daughter in your life at least try and get along with her boyfriend and whats your daughters real name?Rays parents hate me and I never did a damn thing to them.His other son already disowned his dad yrs ago because he couldn't accept his wife.
     
  3. Duck

    Duck Quack Supporter

    :rolllaugh3:

    So will you be buying one of these?

    cat-backhoe-loader.jpg
     
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  4. Tazz

    Tazz Infidel Supporter

    Brittany. My son started calling her Brat when she was born. I guess A's are easier to say than I's. Later it just stuck.

    I will always be here for Brat. I have no faith in a faggoty little hippie living with Grandma. If the boy wants to prove himself he better man up quick.
     
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  5. patriciajnsn

    patriciajnsn Steering Wheel Holder

    Hows he suppose to prove himself when all you see in him is nothing but bad?Rays dad depises me and I bent over backwards the week I was there and nothing I did or said was good enough.He already decided to hate me before ray and I got there.
     
  6. Keendriver

    Keendriver Hates all of you

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  7. Duck

    Duck Quack Supporter

    How the hell are you going to fit one of those on a tank?

    It'll dent up the tank. :eek:

    Might as well put the "Schneider" logo on it now.

    I've never seen a Schneider tank that wasn't dented. I think they order them pre-dented.
     
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  8. Keendriver

    Keendriver Hates all of you

    You leave that to me Backdraft.
     
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  9. Mike

    Mike Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Have you seen anything in the punk that is good yet?

    I'm with @Tazz. Sort of. I'm thinking I would have dispatched that punk out of my house, but thankfully I am not in that situation yet. I pray I am never in that situation.

    I'm angry, and it isn't even my kid!
     
  10. Duck

    Duck Quack Supporter

    Take Anus to Starbucks & listen when he places his order.

    If he orders a Triple Venti Sugar free, Non fat, No foam, extra caramel, with whip caramel macchiato, let me know.

    Just get a sample of his handwriting & I'll photoshop it into a suicide note. ;)
     
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  11. patriciajnsn

    patriciajnsn Steering Wheel Holder

    at least try to get along on behalf of his daughter and ecspecting grand child..Calling him names and waiting to pound his face in in is no way for a father to behave. Mike I've known you for what five yrs or so i can't picture you not likeing anybody or at least trying.
     
  12. Tazz

    Tazz Infidel Supporter

    Truthfully I have not seen anything out of this schmuck. Brat just broke off her engagement last November. This idjit has only been around a couple months though I have suspicion he was in the picture before that.

    I can only judge by what is presented before me. And what was presented looks like a pile of crap warmed over after being mushed into the dirt. I did not eviscerate him because of my daughter.

    He had better step up for his kids sake.
     
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  13. Blood

    Blood Driveler Emeritus Supporter

    I make a motion that we move this thread to Men Only forum where we can plot the fate of Anus without distractions.
    Is there a second?
     
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  14. Duck

    Duck Quack Supporter

    Yeah he'll like, pay half of the co-pays or whatever... o_O
     
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  15. Tazz

    Tazz Infidel Supporter

    It really is an awesome color. :mad:

    And no by step up I mean get a home, stand on his own, formulate a plan to actually raise a kid. I would but apparently I suck at it because my daughter is having a kid before she is capable of supporting it.
     
  16. Duck

    Duck Quack Supporter

    I'm saving that post to quote at some totally inappropriate time in the future.
    :)
    How old is she?
     
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  17. Tazz

    Tazz Infidel Supporter

    22 years old.
     
  18. Keendriver

    Keendriver Hates all of you

    :rolllaugh3:
     
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  19. Injun

    Injun Rabid Squaw Staff Member

    I believe the opening post to this thread is called a "rant" and our Tazz is "venting." Better he do it here than by removing all doubt as to whether Anus has a gizzard or not.

    @Tazz needs to remember, though.. Anus wouldn't have been sitting on his couch if Brat hadn't been a willing party to the party. Daddies are supposed to hate the men boning their daughters. That's just natural. He just needs to remember the fact she didn't get pregnant through force. She picked Anus, for whatever reason, and now he'll be a part of Tazz's life. Best I think he can do is try to show the young metrosexual how to be a man. Time to grow up and get out of Gramma's house. Time, too, for Brat to woman up.
     
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  20. Tazz

    Tazz Infidel Supporter

    Agreed.

    First things first. I am going to hold him down and give him a proper haircut ;)



    Maybe he will struggle just a little:leer:
     
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