| WHO IS JACK SCHITT ?
For some time now, many of us have wondered, "Just Who Is Jack Schitt?". We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, "You Don't Know Jack Schitt!".
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.
Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children:...Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a highschool dropout. After being married for 15yrs., Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition and named him Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual wedding ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper happily announced "The Schitt-Happens" nuptuals. The Schitt-Happens couple produced three beautiful children who they named; Dawg, Byrd, and Horse respectively.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
Now, When someone says; "You Don't Know Schitt", you can correct them.
Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt | 
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